i miss my matti

i love my friends. thanks to all who make me feel special even what i dont deserve it.

xoxo

i dont really have anything to say but i thought i should post because i havent in a long time. its amazing how many people's blogs start like that and then proceed to have pages and pages of typing. that kinda makes me laugh.

life is good. i cant really complain about anything. and if i did it would be stupid and i would look like the spoiled little brat that i am.

sometimes i wish that i could go back to the school year. back to certain times when i felt extremely loved or valued. but thats foolish because i cant go back and it only makes me sad.

my ap stuff is coming along quite nicely thanks to a talk i had with someone.

have you ever had one of those moments when you just dont know? like you dont know how you feel or what you want or how to find what you want or what to do or anything. you just dont know. guess what? this is one of those moments.

im not afraid. maturing, growing up, changing...im not afraid anymore. it will be a welcome challenage. and i hope when all those graduates whom i look up to, come back and see what i could have accomplished since they left, they wont be disappointed. in fact, i know they wont be disappointed. because no matter what i do, its going to be good. its going to be great. i know it will be. it has to be.

i havent laughed really hard in a long time. you know what im talking about. the cant-breathe-choking-on-your-spit-crying-and-holding-my-stomach-because-it-hurts laugh. i wonder why.

im happy. im content.

maybe im terribly terribly focused.

or maybe im tired of being the one that makes everyone else laugh.

xoxo

(see, i told you a lot comes after the "i have nothing to say" line!)